Now I’m wiser and realize I have always been surrounded by vast abundance. Though it sounds like a cliché—especially at Thanksgiving time—I have so much to be thankful for, including the following items that are so obvious I have tended to take them for granted:

1. My mom. Okay, I never took mom for granted, yet I assumed she would always be there. Just two years ago, mom sat at our Thanksgiving dinner table. She shared stories, told jokes and inquired about each of our lives. She was a great mother and I always knew that. Only since her unexpected passing, though, have I become fully aware of how thankful I am for the profound influence she had upon me and my family.
2. My eyesight. I never thought much about my vision until a melanomic tumor on my retina claimed the use of my left eye. I share that information not out of self-pity—I don’t feel sorry for myself and neither should you. Quite frankly, I don’t spend much time thinking about what I’ve lost. Instead, I focus on what I still have—vision in one eye that allows me to drive, to take photographs and to enjoy the beautiful world surrounding me. For that, I am truly grateful.
3. My job. Sometimes I’m tempted to wish I didn’t have to get up when my alarm sounds at 5:30 each morning. A little more sleep or a life of leisure would be great. As I’m getting ready for work, though, I give thanks that I have a job to go to. I’m even more grateful that I have a job I love, a job that allows me to make a real difference in lives of other people.
4. My wife. I’ve always loved Carol and have never been unfaithful, yet during more than three decades together there have been times I didn’t fully appreciate her irreplaceable role in my life. As I think how empty my life would be without her, I am filled with love and gratitude for the marriage we have. As our three kids have grown up under her maternal influence, I give thanks for the mother of my children. As divorce has hit others too close to home, I give thanks for a beautiful, loving wife. I never want to take her for granted.
5. Ad infinitum. The list could continue indefinitely, with family members always near the top. I’m thankful for my dad and for the daily conversations we have. I’m grateful for my son Bryan and his wife Annette, for my son Greg and my cute granddaughter Kayla, for my daughter Jennifer and her husband Nathan. I continually give thanks for extended family, both living and dead. I’m also thankful for a cornucopia of other blessings—my American freedom, my faith, my friends. The list could continue on and on ad infinitum.

Someone once told me that whatever we focus on in life expands. I once focused on things I did not have. In my mind, that list expanded and I felt impoverished. Today, though, I deliberately focus on those things I once took for granted. I’m overwhelmed with all I have to be thankful for. My thanksgiving list goes on and on ad infinitum.

What are you grateful for that you once took for granted? I’m sure your list could also continue on and on ad infinitum.

Whenever I hear Louis Armstrong sing What a Wonderful World I feel warm all over. I am reminded that I live in a full, abundant world.

Together we all share the joys and sorrows of life’s journey, though we we may be at different places along the path. In the distance I’ve traveled, I’ve learned a few things along the way. I share the following observations for the benefit of my fellow travelers:

With a commitment to living my life according to God’s plan, I believe that:

1. Everything happens for a reason.
2. Meaning and purpose can always be found in the midst of chaos.
3. Knowing some of the questions is better than having all of the answers.
4. Every thought, every choice and every action has consequences.
5. What one focuses upon in life expands.
6. We live in a world of abundance where there is enough for everyone.
7. In a win-lose situation, there are usually no winners.
8. Diversity divides when we focus only on our differences, but it enriches when we build on things we share in common.
9. Life only makes sense when viewed from an eternal perspective.
10. No matter how good the “good old days” may seem, our best days are yet to come.

With a commitment to teamwork, I invite you to join me in believing and internalizing the following affirmations:

I have found the practice of journaling to be especially effective.

Journaling for Comfort

Last month when my mom died unexpectedly I received an e-mail from a friend and former co-worker. She also lost her mother unexpectedly within the past year, so she expressed her condolences and then passed along some practical wisdom, saying, “A dear friend told me the day after mom died to keep a diary of those first few days. You may think you’ll never want to remember them but there comes a day when you’ll look back on a particular kindness or a surprise visitor and smile.”

Though it’s been less than a month since Mom died, I’ve already filled more than 20 pages in my journal. I also kept a detailed timeline of everything that happened during the first week. I instinctively knew that the events transpiring during that surreal time would soon become a blur and my memory would inadequately recall everything.

Journaling for Direction

Four years ago when I lost my job, I filled an entire blank book with my journal entries. As part of a job search, I focused on reinventing myself, my life and my career. What I learned from my writing continues to help me today. Journaling was such an invigorating process that I still refer back to my journal/notebook as if it were a sacred reference manual for my career and personal branding.

Journaling for Healing

Six years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer, a friend from Oregon sent me an e-mail of support. He said, “I would encourage you to keep a journal of your journey and list all of the blessings God has provided—things that brought you to this point and things that will happen as you go through this process.”

I burned through countless journal pages during that time as I searched for healing, an inner peace and a deeper understanding of what was happening to me.

Journaling for Everyday Insights

Writing, I’ve discovered, is much too valuable to be done only during my most difficult times. It has become a form of mediation, personal grounding and even prayer.

There’s something magical about holding a fountain pen and letting it tell me things I need to know. As I write, I begin to understand what I’m really thinking. The fog lifts and I can see with much greater clarity. As I journal, my protective armor falls off and I can feel the raw, primal energy needed for me to live an authentic, transparent life. As I write, the chaos around me becomes quieter and I can hear a still, small voice whispering words of wisdom.

Strangely, journaling is much more listening than it is writing. I become more aware of the abundance surrounding me, and rather than wallowing in the misery of difficult times, I find my heart overflowing with gratitude. Yes, there’s something magical about journaling that helps me feel more alive.

I just finished re-reading the classic little book Who Moved My Cheese? It gave me a better understanding of what is happening in the nonprofit community—not just here in Kansas City, but across the nation.

For many years, the national United Way system has been struggling to redefine itself. Its leaders have created new methods for allocating money, and somehow they believe that “moving the cheese around” will make their cause more attractive to donors who have, over the years, found United Way to be waning in relevance.

That logic escapes me. In my opinion, United Way will become less relevant as it leaves gaping holes in human services programs. I guess you could call it their “Swiss cheese model” for meeting human needs. I assume United Way realizes that its decision to cut much-needed funding will actually force established, well-respected organizations such as the American Red Cross to compete more directly with them for contributions from within the same donor pool.

Personal Disclosure

To be transparent, I must disclose two important facts about myself before I continue sharing my opinions.

First, I am responsible for marketing at the American Red Cross of Greater Kansas City, the single largest recipient of United Way allocations in this region. Though I am employed by the Red Cross, this blog post has been written on my personal time and entirely reflects only my own opinions, not those of my employer.

Second, before coming to the Red Cross I served as the vice president of marketing for the United Way of Greater Kansas City. Because I have always had great respect for the organization and its mission, I am both a Diamond Donor (meaning I’ve given for 25+ years) and I’m also a member of the Leadership Giving Circle. However, in the weeks ahead I intend to reevaluate whether United Way is the wise investment I once thought it was.

By the way, I have many friends who work at United Way. They are exceptionally professional individuals and nothing I say here is a personal indictment of them or anyone else.

Dealing with Change

My purpose is not to disparage United Way or to marginalize its role in the community. Rather, this is my assessment of what the American Red Cross and other such organizations must do when forced to search for “cheese” in new corridors within the maze.

I believe major funding cuts from United Way can provide defining, watershed moments for progressive organizations. When compelled to find new sources of “cheese” these organizations will reduce their long-standing dependency upon United Way as a funding partner. Such changes can ultimately strengthen the American Red Cross and other nonprofit agencies as they regain more control over their own destinies.

So what are the first steps in recovering from a sudden and unexpected change of plans?

For starters, we must find answers to three very important questions—questions that are relevant far beyond the context of the evolving relationship between the Red Cross and United Way. The following questions can bring focus to any organization, group or individual confronted with major change:

1. What happened?
2. What impact will this have?
3. What are we going to do about it?

Let’s briefly look at each question, applying it to whatever changes you may be encountering in your life.

1. What happened?

To think clearly, you first must remove emotion from your assessment. Look objectively at what has happened. Ask lots of questions, analyze data and study the trends. If essential information is missing, find ways to acquire the needed information.

2. What impact with this have?

Once you understand what actually happened, you then need to ask, “So what?”

Evaluate the impact of your changing circumstances.

No matter what, never let something distract you from fulfilling your mission. Organizations and individuals alike must determine how they can best stay focused when unexpected change happens. You’ll likely have fewer resources to work with and adjustments will be inevitable. But never allow that to become an excuse for backing away from your purpose or mission.

3. What are we going to do?

After you know what happened, and once you understand the impact, it time to make a plan and take action.

Often it’s helpful to convene a group of diverse stakeholders who can brainstorm ideas from a variety of vantage points. A well-facilitated planning process can produce ideas that a visionary leader can then use as the basis for a plan of action.

Final Thoughts…

One thing is certain—the future will not be an extension of the past. Change happens. Someone moved our cheese. So what are we going to do about it?

The American Red Cross has an important work to do in the community. Much is at stake and we have some crucial decisions to make. I trust that we will respond with an abundance mentality rather than with a fearful scarcity mindset. I hope to be part of creating the long-term solutions that will help the American Red Cross continue doing what it does best—with or without United Way.

I’ll close with a favorite quote from the renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright.

The human race built most nobly when limitations were greatest and, therefore, when most was required of imagination in order to build at all.

1. A job. I know far too many good and talented people who are unemployed. In graditude for my job, I look for ways to network with job seekers. I hope to encourage them and also to share what I’ve learned from my own career transitions.
2. Holidays. Though I’m thankful for my job, I’m also grateful for time away from the office. Everyone needs a little downtime. I create pauses in my daily schedule to ground myself. I look forward to a weekly sabbatical away from work. And I enjoy the change of pace that a holiday like Thanksgiving can bring.
3. My Family. Next month Carol and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage. This year we’ve welcomed two new members into our family—our son-in-law Nathan (Jennifer’s husband) and our daughter-in-law Annette (Bryan’s wife). We’re also thankful for our son Greg and his daughter Kayla, and for his new job as an elementary school teacher.
4. My Friends. Friends are special, and thankful for each and every person in my life. I value the diversity of age, race, politics, religion, socioeconomic status, education and even personality. Together we share the adventure of life’s great journey, though we may be at different places along the path.
5. Health. Good health is often unappreciated until it’s gone, but as a cancer survivor I want to live each day with an awareness of my health and well-being. (Living more healthfully will also be one of my upcoming New Year’s resolutions.)
6. Health Insurance. No matter where one falls in the national debate on health coverage, having access to quality medical care is important. I’m thankful for mine.
7. Personal Freedom. I’m fortunate to live in a country where the majority rules while the minority is protected, where we all serve the collective good while holding onto our individual freedoms and where, in turbulent times, we can celebrate our rich history while anticipating better days to come.
8. Transportation. My car is nothing luxurious. I bought it used and it’s even more used three years later. This year I’ve “invested” hundreds of dollars of repairs into it. I’m grateful, though, that it continues to get me to the important places I need to be, and I’m also thankful for the hundreds of accident-free miles I’ve driven it it.
9. Shelter. This year, too many people have been foreclosed upon and too many of my “neighbors” are homeless. I’m thankful that I have a place—be it ever so humble—that I can call home. I live in a house filled with love, with the frequent laughter of family and with precious memories of times spent there with people I care about.
10. Today. I was reminded that each day is a special gift when I once asked a co-worker how he was doing. He replied, “Today is the best day of my life.” The next day I asked the same question and got the same response. On the third day when I asked for clarification, he said, “I decide every morning to live in the present and to make today the best day of my life.” With deep gratitude to God for giving me yet another day of life, I can honestly say that today is the best day of my life. At least so far.

Life is good. God is good.

Almost everyone I encounter has a special way of saying thanks.

On rare occasions, however,  I encounter someone who falls short, someone who fails to express gratitude. I notice, for example, when a retail cashier has not been trained to close a transaction with those two magical words—thank you. I’ve been disappointed when a wedding gift is never acknowledged. A couple of times I’ve even felt unappreciated when I went above and beyond expectations and the other person didn’t even notice.

Like you, I don’t do things to receive recognition or appreciation, but it’s always nice to be acknowledged. In those rare circumstances when I feel unappreciated, I try to rise above the ingratitude of others. After all, it happens to the best of us—even Christ, after healing 10 lepers, had only one return to say, “Thank you.”

I cannot change others so I’m not going to try. The only person I can change is myself, so in this season of thanksgiving I resolve to do the following:

1. Cultivate mindfulness. I want to become more aware of things in my life that I’m thankful for yet perhaps I take for granted. Someone once told me, “What you focus on expands.” So I’ll look for the good and avoid obsessing on problems, worries or deficits.
2. Express my gratitude. Thanksgiving must be a way of life, not just an annual holiday. I will look for more ways to sincerely express my gratitude to others. I’ll also be more purposeful in giving thanks to God for the abundance that surrounds me.
3. Pay it forward. Perhaps the best thing I can do is to pass along my gratitude to others. Thankful for my own employment, I will look for ways to help others in their job searches. Grateful for the many friends in my life, I’ll be a friend to someone who may feel lonely. In gratitude for the material comforts I enjoy, I’ll make financial contributions to charities such as United Way and the American Red Cross so they can help those less fortunate.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and I’m going to keep my spirit of gratitude alive year-round.

One final comment: Thank you! Thanks for reading my blog. And thank you in advance if you’re inclined to leave a comment below.

You see, I’m one of those people who needs to know WHY. I want to understand my raison d’être—my reason for being. I’ve spent quiet moments thinking about my purpose in life, and I’ve come to realize that my personal and professional missions merge together seamlessly.

My threefold mission in life is:

1. To understand the world around me.
2. To create order from within the chaos.
3. To share unconditionally the abundance in my life.

That’s it in three word:  understand, create and share. Those words came to life after I spent considerable time exploring the colorful dimensions of each.

To Understand.

I am a lifelong learner, committed to exploring the world with a childlike curiosity. I never begin a journey of discovery by seeking answers. Instead, I first make sure I’m asking the right questions. The answers magically manifest themselves as I coax them out of hiding through authentic inquiry.

Although I believe everything happens for a reason, I also want to understand why. My quest for understanding compels me to find out why things happen the way they do. Therefore, I approach a job loss, a cancer diagnosis or any other teachable moment as a unique opportunity to understand God’s plan for my life. Such opportunities never make sense as they are unfolding. Only afterward am I able to look back and slowly comprehend the infinite value of the experience.

Only as I first lay a solid foundation of understanding am I able to fulfill the next two dimensions of my personal mission—to create and to share.

A favorite quote:  Seek first to understand, then to be understood. (Stephen Covey)

To Create.

Life often appears fragmented. It’s like I’m looking into a kaleidoscope seeing random patterns of colorful objects. My life purpose is to rearrange the elements within the chaos to create something of value.

Any life transition is a fertile time sandwiched between deconstruction and construction. It provides a special opportunity to create, to construct and to arrange the building blocks into something new. The chaos within a transition represents my opportunity to create a new juxtaposition of the existing materials.

Only after I’ve gained understanding and created something of value can I then move to the third element of my mission—sharing.

A favorite quote:  Confusion is a word we have invented for an order of things not yet understood. (Henry Miller)

To Share.

I try to live daily with an abundance mentality (as opposed to a scarcity mindset). The basic premise is that there will always be enough for everyone. What I give away does not subtract from what I have left. Strangely, when I give unconditionally with no expectation of any return, I receive back many times what I originally shared.

As others experience life changes and navigate their own transitions, I am willing to share with them the understanding I gained in the first phase of my mission, and I also seek to share what I’ve created in the second phase.

So the third reason God placed me here on this earth is to share with others. Generously. And unconditionally.

A favorite quote:  Remember this—whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. (Jesus Christ)

Have you thought about your purpose in life? What is your personal mission? Have you discovered your unique, high calling?

Her departure gave me the opportunity to recruit someone new, so I spent considerable time thinking about how to forge a strong partnership between 1) the individuals I inherited and 2) those I would select myself.

In consultation with team members that remained, I developed this list of 10 characteristics to describe the commitment, the loyalty and the engagement of every contributing member of my marketing group:

1. We are inspired by the mission of the marketing department, knowing that our special group exists to ensure the success of the American Red Cross.
2. As we visualize the role of marketing within the organization, we are proud to be a part of an exceptional consulting team working on projects that really matter.
3. We value diversity within our team, knowing that each of us makes a unique contribution to the department, to the organization and ultimately to the community.
4. We build synergy whereby the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. In so doing, we recognize the interdependence of every member of the team.
5. When one of us succeeds, that person appreciates and acknowledges the contributions of teammates, knowing that success is often a team effort.
6. We celebrate when another member of the team excels. After all, we know that one teammate’s success reflects positively on our entire group.
7. When something goes wrong, we avoid pointing fingers and assigning blame. Instead, we join hands with others to seek solutions and to look for the learning embedded within the situation.
8. We assume positive intentions on the part of others. In circumstances where there is a potential for misunderstanding, we proactively seek clarification.
9. We are loyal to other members of the team, especially in their absence. We focus on the positive, affirming attributes of our co-workers and teammates.
10. We always operate from an abundance mentality that seeks win-win solutions. We refuse to believe that our win implies a loss for someone else, knowing that a scarcity mentality spawns fear, competitiveness and retaliation.

Together we share life’s journey, though we may be at different places along the path. I’ve traveled quite a few miles, and though I’m no philosopher, I’ve learned a few things along the way. For the benefit of my fellow travelers, I share the following observations:

1. Everything happens for a reason.
2. Meaning and purpose can always be found in the midst of chaos.
3. Knowing some of the questions is better than having all of the answers.
4. Every thought, every choice and every action has consequences.
5. What one focuses upon in life expands.
6. We live in a world of abundance where there’s enough for everyone.
7. In a win-lose situation, there are usually no winners.
8. Diversity divides when we only focus on differences, but it enriches when we build on those things we share in common.
9. No matter how good the “good old days” may have seemed, we’ve got to believe that our best days are yet to come.
10. Life only makes sense when viewed from an eternal perspective.

Okay, that’s my initial list. What do you think? I’d like to hear what you’ve learned from your own, unique journey.